Raising Selfless Children

Our children are growing up in an age filled with relentless messages to consume more, more, more, as well as immediate access to almost anything. Add to that the rapidly evolving technology available to them and the ever-present competition among peers, and the difficulty of raising selfless children in a materialistic world can seem impossible. But it’s not hopeless, of course, and there are plenty of things you can do to help them maintain a level of humility. Here are a few ways you can start:

Set limits, and when you say “No,” mean it.

One reason kids become selfish is they get too used to getting their way. It’s important to be clear about what you expect of them and then adhere to those limits. Giving in to tantrums, whining, complaining or attempts to make you feel guilty simply teaches them that they get their way if they complain enough.

Go through possessions with them and donate to charity.

You already know kids are constantly outgrowing clothes and toys. But don’t just deal with them on your own, make time to go through their belongings with them and donate some to charity. It is very useful to give them an understanding of the lives of the less fortunate and how some help can really make a difference.

Do chores with them.

Kids don’t innately understand that hard work pays off. Assign chores and then help them complete them. They may not understand that the house looks nice because you spent hours cleaning it, but if they do their part they can see concrete results and how it directly affects their world.

Nurture empathy.

Babies are by nature selfish, and so are young kids. It takes awhile for them to realize the world isn’t centered on them, so encourage them to consider how others feel. You nurture their empathy by helping them understand the mindset of someone else. “Imagine you just moved here and are walking into school for the first time. How would you feel?”

Reinforce selfless acts.

One of the quickest ways to increase selflessness is to “catch” them doing unselfish acts and praise them. Doing so will encourage them to repeat the behavior. Just remember to describe the behavior and point out the impact it had. “Did you see the smile on your brother’s face when you shared your toys? You made him so happy.”

 

 

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